Four ingredients for Automous Support
Autonomy support has four ingredients (Joussemet, Landry & Koestner, 2008).
(1) providing rationale and explanation for behavioral requests. For example, instead of “Get working on your Science project now,” autonomous support sounds like, “A good way to avoid the stress of the last minute rush is to do a little work on your Science Project everyday."
(2) recognizing the feelings and perspective of the child. For example, instead of minimizing or arguing about their feelings by saying, “Just stop worrying about your project and get to work,” or “What have you got to be stressed out about, it's just a school project," autonomous support sounds like, “Tell me how are you feeling about your science project? (ask child to identify feelings), "What part of your project is worrying you? (prompt child to tell you more), "You are feeling worried that your project won't look as good as others, that must be difficult for you." (show that you understand and have empathy toward your child's perspective and feelings).
(3) offering choices and encouraging initiative. For example, let your child set their own homework schedule, choose their own topics for projects, and choose their enrichment of any subject. Encouragement can look like helping your child find time to write the novel they really want to write, instead of just telling them to do their math first.
(4) minimizing the use of controlling techniques. Controlling techniques include using guilt, bribes, and punishment to get children to do something.
Source; Joussemet, M., Landry, R., & Koestner, R. (2008). A self-determination theory perspective on parenting. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie Canadienne, 49(3), 194-200. doi:10.1037/a0012754
